Those who emerge victorious in debates and excel at argumentation possess not only effective speaking abilities but also finely-tuned listening skills.
Apt listening skills not only enhance one’s credibility but also project confidence. However, this proficiency is a rarity, as many individuals struggle with maintaining focus, diverting their attention to planning their own responses, or even interrupting and launching into tirades.
In my publication, titled “Triumph in Every Debate: Mastering the Craft of Persuasion, Public Address, and Debate,” I delve into two distinct forms of listening mastery: critical listening and empathetic listening.
1. Critical listening
This entails purposefully assimilating, understanding, and appraising the information presented by a speaker in the immediate moment. Questions like “Is this accurate or erroneous?” “Does it hold logical coherence?” and “Can I rely on or accept what I’m being told?” come into play.
The role of a critical listener becomes vital when your instructor provides feedback on an essay you’ve authored, or when your supervisor dissects errors in a report you’ve compiled.
Now, let’s explore how to adopt a critical listening stance when your adversary is presenting their argument:
Keep an open mind.
When engaged in a debate with an adversary, it’s crucial not to immediately presume that every aspect of their discourse is incorrect, nonsensical, or foolish.
Instead, pay close attention to identify sound arguments or astute observations that necessitate acknowledgement or counteraction within your own statements.
While maintaining confidence in your own viewpoints is important, it’s equally essential to cultivate an open-minded perspective that recognizes the strengths in your opponent’s stance or identifies areas where your own position may be lacking.
Clear your mind.
Avoid drifting into daydreams or dozing off when others around you are presenting their views and making their cases. Such behavior not only undermines your credibility but also diminishes your reputation with the audience, as it comes across as discourteous and dismissive.
Direct your attention with utmost precision to the matter being discussed. Through vigilant critical listening to your opponent’s discourse, you can adeptly detect flawed or incorrect assertions. This, in turn, equips you to craft sharp and impactful rejoinders, contributing to your success in the argumentative endeavor.
Take notes.
Mastering critical listening relies on the synergy of a keen intellect and a robust memory. These attributes can be reinforced through the timeless practice of taking notes. Notably, numerous accomplished individuals adhere to the habit of meticulous note-taking.
A case in point is British magnate Richard Branson, who attests to filling countless notebooks annually. In his account, he recounts an instance at a London conference where he shared the platform with Bill Gates.
In this scenario, Branson describes how Gates, during his concluding address, produced a handful of papers from his pocket.
2. Empathetic listening
This process involves establishing a rapport with the speaker and endeavoring to perceive the world from their perspective. The objective is to center your attention on their viewpoints and genuinely grasp their vantage point.
Although this might appear intuitive, in my encounters, a considerable number of individuals, even those of high intelligence, struggle in this area.
Outlined below are three strategies that I’ve found particularly effective:
Stay present.
Convey a distinct message to both the speaker and the observers that your complete attention is directed towards the speaker.
Ximena Vengoechea, the author of “Listen Like You Mean It: Reclaiming the Lost Art of True Connection,” advises minimizing your internal dialogues, setting aside electronic devices, and channeling your focus entirely onto the speaker.
It’s imperative to ensure that your attention is unequivocally fixed on the speaker, with no room for self-preoccupation.
Make eye contact.
The significance of eye contact in conveying empathy and forging profound emotional connections cannot be emphasized enough.
This assertion is substantiated by research. For instance, a study involving doctors and patients revealed a noteworthy correlation between eye contact and patients’ perceptions of clinician empathy.
Another study focusing on public speakers indicated that participants were more inclined to believe statements made by a speaker who maintained direct eye contact, in contrast to a speaker who averted their gaze. The outcomes might be surprising, but they underscore the potency of eye contact.
Ask the right questions.
Engage your conversation partners by presenting queries that empower them to steer the dialogue. Subsequently, demonstrate your attentive listening by posing follow-up questions that reflect your grasp of their responses.
Choose inquiries that encourage expansive responses rather than ones that elicit brief “yes” or “no” replies. Opt for open-ended questions that prompt thoughtful and personal answers, fostering more substantial discussions.
Mehdi Hasan is an award-winning British-American journalist and the author of “Win Every Argument: The Art of Debating, Persuading, and Public Speaking.” He is the host of MSNBC’s “The Mehdi Hasan Show.” He has written for the New York Times and the Washington Post. Follow him on Twitter @mehdirhasan.
Source: cnbc.com