We all know that effective communication skills are some of the keys to a successful career. It is essential that we all know how to communicate not just verbally, but also through gestures, facial expression, and eye contact — or what we like to call nonverbal communication. But for now, let us focus on the former, which is verbal communication. Specifically, we will tackle some of the good ways to start a conversation that will help you build and strengthen your social network.
As a social construct, conversation serves as a building block in creating and maintaining relationships. This is especially important for professionals who want to expand their network and build a strong relationship with people of the same niche. A conversation is what serves as a gateway that leads us to get the information we need.
From the outside, a conversation may seem as simple as delivering thoughts and ideas. But underneath, it carries great opportunities to strengthen relationships, unravel new information, and share information of your own.
One of the biggest mistakes when conversating begins with initiating a conversation. You might struggle to find the right thing to say that would get the two of you talking. Or you might get too excited and overshare your thoughts with a total stranger. But a skilled conversationalist knows how to start good conversations — even a harmless “hey, how are you” will get them to the place they want to be.
So, how do you do this? What are good ways to start a conversation that will help you head in any direction you want? Here are eight ways you can do that.
1. You have to keep it neutral.
It’s easier to strike a conversation and keep it going when circumstances aren’t ideal. Like when you are at the grocery store, you might comment to the person at your back about the long line. From there, a small conversation starts to flow naturally.
This law can also apply when the stakes are higher, like when you’re networking at a huge party. But still, you have to be careful when using this technique. Always be neutral and weigh your thoughts before putting them into words.
Initiating a conversation by saying, “this event is such a bore” could give you a bad impression and may end up working against you.
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2. A good way to start a conversation is to come out with a compliment.
One of the best ways to start a conversation is to compliment the recipient. Compliments are great conversation starters because it makes the recipient feel flattered. As a result, they are more than willing to engage in your conversation. But be sure that your compliment is specific and sincere — you don’t want to alienate the person and make the situation awkward. Once the person is able to talk about the source of compliment, you can move to a new topic somewhat related to the topic you want to head to. Your conversation partner will be pleased to hear whatever you want to say.
3. Ask for their opinion.
A good way to start a conversation is to make the other person feel like their opinion matters. Asking someone for their opinion goes to show that you are intrigued by them and what they’re about to say.
Make sure that your question is immediately relevant. Other people may find it weird when someone asks them non-related questions about politics.
Instead, you can ask them questions like, “what can you say about the keynote presentation?”
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4. Another good way to start a conversation is by asking a favor.
Asking for a favor is a psychological trick invented by Ben Franklin. For some progressive reason, doing someone a favor can institute an inherent connection with that person. As a result, that person will be more open to hearing whatever you have to say. Asking for a favor doesn’t have to be a grand gesture; you can simply ask for a pencil or where the bathroom is.
5. Simply introduce yourself.
While this may not work in every setting, there are some situations that may require you to directly approach the person. Simply walk up to the person, wave your hand and say “Hi, I am blah blah. I just wanted to introduce myself.” Some people may feel good and important over the fact that you went out on a limb to introduce yourself. This will make the person want to talk to you as well.
6. Offering help is another good way to start a conversation.
There’s no other nicer way to show others that you are an approachable person than to offer a helping hand. If you find yourself in a situation where someone could use some help, go ahead and do it.
If you see someone who seems a little lost, you can offer to help them find it. Or when someone looks like they have a lot to carry, you can carry some of the things for them.
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7. Open with a friendly joke.
Everybody loves jokes — as long as they are witty, friendly, and clean. Tell the other person a clean joke that will make them smile and you are already on their good side. You can prepare some jokes related to your intended topic and lead with it.
8. Ask questions that surround your intended topic.
A good way to start a question is to ask specific questions. But don’t make the question too direct. Rather, you can ask a related question to make your conversational partner loosely open to the topic. For instance, if you want to talk about your newly opened coffee shop, you can ask a question like, “do you enjoy going out for coffee?” Then, you can gradually change the topic to your coffee business.
Once you are able to find the most suitable way to initiate a conversation, all that stands between you and your topic is the series of questions and responses. Make sure that you know how to hang onto the conversation long enough and keep it entertaining and interesting.