How to Stop Seeking Approval and Start Embracing Your True Self

In a world that often emphasizes the importance of fitting in and conforming to societal norms, it’s all too easy to find ourselves trapped in a cycle of seeking approval from others.

However, the path to genuine happiness and fulfillment lies in breaking free from this pattern and embracing our true selves.


In this article, we’ll explore actionable steps to help you stop seeking approval and start embracing the unique individual that you are.

1. Recognize the Approval-Seeking Pattern

The first step towards change is acknowledging the behavior. Take a moment to reflect on instances where you’ve altered your actions, choices, or beliefs to gain approval. By identifying these patterns, you can become more conscious of when you’re seeking validation from others.

2. Understand Your Motivations

Dig deep into why you seek approval. Are you yearning for acceptance, fearing rejection, or aiming to fit in? Understanding these motivations can provide insight into your emotional needs and help you address them more constructively.

3. Cultivate Self-Awareness

Developing self-awareness is crucial in breaking the cycle of seeking approval. Regularly check in with your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. This practice helps you connect with your authentic self and identify moments when you’re compromising who you are for the sake of others’ opinions.

4. Embrace Your Unique Qualities

No one else on this planet is exactly like you. Embrace your quirks, strengths, and weaknesses. Understand that your individuality is what makes you special. Celebrate your achievements and be kind to yourself in times of perceived failure.

5. Set Your Own Standards

Instead of seeking external validation, set your own standards for success, happiness, and self-worth. Define your goals based on your passions and values, rather than what others expect from you. Remember that you don’t need anyone’s permission to pursue your dreams.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you’d extend to a friend. Embrace your imperfections and acknowledge that making mistakes is a natural part of growth. Self-compassion allows you to let go of perfectionism and unrealistic expectations.

7. Learn to Say “No”

Part of embracing your true self involves setting boundaries. Learn to say “no” when something doesn’t align with your values, interests, or goals. Prioritize your well-being over the fear of disappointing others.

8. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Surrounding yourself with individuals who accept you for who you are is essential. Build a network of friends, family, and mentors who encourage your authenticity and growth.

9. Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Replace self-critical thoughts with positive affirmations. Challenge the inner voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Remind yourself of your achievements and qualities that make you proud.

10. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you stay present and grounded. When you’re fully engaged in the present moment, you’re less likely to be preoccupied with seeking approval or worrying about others’ opinions.

11. Seek Professional Support

If breaking free from approval-seeking is particularly challenging for you, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance tailored to your individual needs.


In conclusion, the journey towards embracing your true self and stopping the constant quest for approval is a rewarding one. It’s about shedding the expectations of others and connecting with your genuine desires and passions.

By following these steps and practicing self-acceptance, you’ll find yourself on a path towards greater happiness, confidence, and a deeper connection with your authentic self.